Alex Jones Assures Public That Donald Trump Has a Giant Penis

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Bigly, ginormous, enormous, yuge, and even. Extra. Bigly. These are the adjectives Alex Jones, notorious conspiracy theorist and “commentator” of InfoWars fame, is outwardly utilizing to explain Donald Trump’s, erm, genitalia. (We apologize for that psychological picture.) As a result of, apparently, we have come to a degree in our society the place this can be a required stance to have as an alt-right media persona.

As reported by The Reduce, Jones spoke at size throughout a current InfoWars taping in regards to the current Web flutter implying our president having a really small penis. “Now the media went into conniption suits and the headlines from MSNBC are Trump’s sexual obsessions could destroy the earth,” Jones started, earlier than launching right into a pseudo-defense of Trump’s now-famous (and terrifying) North Korea tweet. “They’re those saying, hey, we obtained an even bigger nuclear button than you, we obtained an even bigger arsenal, extra highly effective, and it really works. Nothing to do with the media making an attempt to say the president has small genitals.”

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‘Tis enormous!!!

Marc Piscotty/Getty Photographs

And what of the “tiny hand” rumors, Alex? “And by the best way he doesn’t even have small palms, and by the best way that’s a cliché, and a wives’ story, and never even true as effectively,” insists Jones in his distinctive get-off-my-lawn yell. He continues, for some purpose: “Medical docs will let you know it’s the toes measurement. However the level is — that it’s extra comparable. And that’s not even an actual metric.” We are able to solely think about that shortly after this, he knowledgeable his colleagues that he wears a “measurement 47” shoe, then stomped away to chug a pack of sugar-free Redbulls in a single go.

OK, if it was a one-and-done remark, we may most likely snort it off and chalk it as much as Jones repeatedly being a Trumpian kiss-ass. However no, there’s extra. He actually needs to speak about penises. Particularly, Trump’s. “And by the best way, he would not even have small palms, and by the best way, that is a cliche, and a wives’ story, and never even true as effectively,” Jones mentioned. “Medical docs will let you know it is the toes measurement. However the level is — that it is extra comparable. And that is not even an actual metric.” We want let’s imagine this was the primary time Jones has been very pro-Trump penis, however alas, it’s not.

One factor is for positive: We do not ever wish to know, in all actuality. Even this Trump dildo is an excessive amount of for us.

Learn extra tales about dicks:

Methods to Take a Dick Pic That Truly Appears Good An Etiquette Information to Receiving Nudes With out Being an Asshole About It This Genius Lady Dressed as an “Unsolicited Dick Pic” for a Get together

Now, let’s discuss mascara, which everybody like’s higher than speaking about Trump’s D:

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